Late-night host Stephen Colbert poked fun at a small Massachusetts library in a lengthy segment on his show Tuesday night, prefaced with the introduction: “This is the kind of news I hope to spend more time thinking about in 2021.”
Colbert flashed a headline across the screen that read: “Wayland librarians are mystified by potatoes gathering on the library’s front lawn.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘accumulating’ or ‘appearing,’” Colbert said, chuckling at the headline’s phrasing. “‘Gathering’ implies they’re responding to some sort of primate potato-call to assemble for the great potato uprising.”
Several Greater Boston media outlets picked up on the “potato occurrence” outside the Wayland Free Public Library last week, including the MetroWest Daily News and NBC Boston. Apparently, Colbert did too.
He flashed another quote across the screen: “Director Sandy Raymond found the first one Monday during a walk around the library grounds. She discovered the second while getting her steps in Tuesday.”
“That’s how vicious this crime is,” Colbert declared. “Some sicko is taunting her with carbs!”
He continued that the only reason why “we’re hearing about this” is because of the second spud: “If it were one potato, the mainstream media would have completely ignored it. Since it was two potatoes, that’s a clear pattern of poterrorism,” Colbert said.
The library posted a photo on Facebook asking residents for information about the provenance of the potatoes. The photo shows the front of the library with two arrows pointing to “where the potatoes are,” the caption read.
“That’s right, ‘are,’” Colbert said. “Leave them there and don’t touch the crime scene ... forensics are on the way over with bacon bits.”
Librarians, who were also making light of the occurrence, said they “couldn’t imagine” how the potatoes got there. Colbert also called it “unimaginable!” before offering two potentially logical explanations.
“Oh, you might be saying dropped by walking, or thrown from a car? Those are the only two options, right?” Colbert posed. “Well snap out of it! It cannot be explained.”
Colbert reminded viewers that this potato story “is not over.”
“If you think this is some funny isolated little potato incident, you’re adorable because some have remarked about other potato occurrences in the area,” Colbert said, referencing how neighbors have begun to see piles of potatoes left outside mailboxes along the street.
Colbert concluded: “And while this story has nothing to do with me, in the name of transparency, ‘Potato Occurrence’ was the name of my college poetry slam collective.”
Watch the full segment:
Brittany Bowker can be reached at brittany.bowker@globe.com. Follower her on Twitter @brittbowker.
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January 20, 2021 at 07:26PM
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‘Mysterious potatoes’ confound Wayland librarians, and late-night host Stephen Colbert is all over it - The Boston Globe
"potato" - Google News
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